Updated: Sep 15
Healthy boundaries are good for all sides in relationships. Without some ground rules, one is often left feeling drained, unmotivated, resentful, and often ends up feeling used and abused (so to speak). This is because one side is often taking more than the other is receiving and is by no means necessarily done consciously or on purpose (most times).
However, after people set a boundary, others will continue to try crossing the line, consciously or unconsciously. When this happens, I recommend that the person who set up the rules step into their power (strength, courage and confidence) and speak up as appropriate in the situation. If you don’t, how will the other person ever know they are crossing the line? Sometimes, we need to reaffirm and teach others what is acceptable moving forward with us. Other times, we need to adjust our boundaries and find a stronger one that works better.
As a psychic-medium/healer/consultant, people often approach me with the idea that I am always in work mode, aka ON. I can be anywhere, and if someone knows the type of stuff I do, they will often try to get freebies or ask my “opinion” or what I feel or think about a subject, how to do something, to send them healing/prayers, and a plethora of other stuff. Heck, even when calling to book an appointment, some will try to get something for nothing or to test me to see if I am the “real deal.” To some, this is very disrespectful or distasteful on many fronts.
While there was a time, I was always ON, I have learned to set boundaries over the years and turn OFF to focus on the human side of life. I never understood the importance of doing this until someone I was studying with taught us how to open for and close after a session. After doing this for the week, often multiple times a day, I learned how valuable a tool this offered in setting boundaries, both with others and with Spirit. Yes, even Spirit needs some rules to engage with us humans. Otherwise, they will try to put us to work everywhere we are at any given time.
We have all seen the shows where the medium is out somewhere, and Heaven comes forth to get a message to their loved one. I often cringe at this, knowing what I now know. I understand this happens more often when the medium hasn't learned to set their boundaries with Spirit or doesn't even know they have the right to or know how perhaps. I understand that this isn't always the case; some mediums opened to Heaven for the show's filming that day.
I was once that guy in the bookstores where Heaven was hanging around waiting and pushing me to deliver messages to people amongst the sea of books. I honoured the calling at the time, but shortly afterwards, my angels and guides showed me the light and guided me to a teacher to assist me in becoming a better medium and human.
You see, boundaries are instrumental in improving your relationships in all ways when engaged correctly. Often, especially at first, we set the stage, but then the walls move along the way as people still try to navigate around the perimeter. If we let them do so, it won't be long before the walls crumble down and the boundary is no more. While it may not always be easy to step back or to say no to someone, it is your human right to have healthy rules and regulations in your relationships. It is a sign of respect for your time and energy and an opportunity to bring the best of you to others whose paths you cross along the way.
While it may not always be easy to step back or to say no to someone, it is your human right to have healthy rules and regulations in your relationships. It is a sign of respect for your time and energy and an opportunity to bring the best of you to others whose paths you cross along the way. At times, I still struggle with this, but I am learning to stand in my power and speak my truth more each day. It isn't always comfortable to say no or stand my ground. But in doing so, I am showing love for myself and showing others I love (and respect) them enough to want to bring the best of me into the relationship. Thank God I have an entire lifetime to master this lesson.
I also recognize that if I don't affirm my healthy boundaries, I have no boundaries at all. When this happens, people will try to walk over me or use me for their purposes. If I don't value myself and my boundaries, how can I ever expect another to do the same?
However, the other side of the coin is just as valid. If I don't honour whatever boundaries others have set, then I am showing them disrespect and not love. If I truly loved them, I wouldn't be pushing the envelopes either. I would be listening to the energy, feeling, and words shared and make sure to follow their lead in the relationship. After all, a healthy relationship goes both ways and isn't just about me, despite what the ego may try to say or do.
If you have a boundary and you find yourself before me, and I cross it unknowingly, let me know; it is okay for you to speak up and reaffirm your boundary. It is okay to say what you feel or think on a subject. We don’t always have to agree; this can be a part of a healthy, balanced and respectful relationship.