Living Grief is HELL

Updated: Jul 1

Most of us have experienced loss and the accompanying grief in our lives, at some point in life. Death shows up in variety of ways, including the loss of relationships, health, careers, loss of hopes (and dreams) and in many other forms. One of the hardest griefs we can face in life is “living grief.” Of course, grieving a child is one of the worst losses anyone can experience, next to watching a loved one close the gap on death.


Living grief starts gently, but it quickly turns to torture for those experiencing it as time goes on. As it eats away at the physical, mental and emotional well-being of all, the constant prayer is for the heavenly realms to come and take their loved one suffering home.

Living grief is heavy, dark, and an emotional roller coaster for those inflicted, both those experiencing the decline of their loved one’s health and for the souls leaving the physical world. The earlier days are the perfect time to ask your loved ones the questions on your mind and heart, before it is too late. Sharing their stories and information requested will help them focus on being of service to you; this, in turn, will help them get their mind off their pain and dying, even if it is just for a moment.


As the days go by and the process continues, the dying become trapped in their minds, bodies, and even heart. The emotions are felt but often roll down down their face as tears; no longer are they able to express their words any longer as the end nears and their mind (and body) begins to fail them. One day, we too, will experience this, as our loved ones grief our deteriorating health as prepare to make the final journey home.


The living going through grief often feel helpless, alone and so far in the dark they don’t know if they can handle or make it through. However, Spirit reminds all that you got this, and as tough as it is, you have the strength and endurance to make it to the end of the tunnel.


With the dying opening to Spirit, they begin to be visited by the heavenly realms, often causing them fear and concern for their earthly friends and family. The calls to heaven continue, and heaven is right there with all to provide support, wipe the tears and comfort those in their time of need. However, many times the grief is so overwhelming the earthly realm can’t feel heaven’s presence and often think no one is answering, which is the farthest from the truth. This is just as true for those living as it is for the souls crossing over.

Rest assured, heaven is always aware, watching over and walking beside their Earthbound friends and family. This is especially true when someone is coming to the end of their life. Everyone deserves support along the way, and heaven is always here doing just that. Whether you are conscious or not of this heavenly support, rest assured this is always the case.


Free will causes all light beings to act appropriately according to the will of all involved and to only intervene when asked. Heaven assures you they hear you always. However, even they can’t interfere with or stop the process of dying. Only God has this power. Sacred Soul Contracts, free will and other things are a part of the equation in all unfolding or doesn’t happen.


Does it make it easier for heaven to watch you or your loved one suffering at this critical junction point? Not at all. They feel as you feel and wipe tears of love from all. Through their crossing over, they can appreciate the complete process, now fully understanding the whole truth. Heaven understands both sides of the coin and how all are feeling to a degree in the situation.


The trauma that comes with living grief often does lift once the loved one returns home, and the process of grief can progress forth to a better place. However, for some individuals who watched their loved one “dying,” this trauma can become stuck in their body and the emotions associated frozen in time. The stuck and frozen energy is just one reason one needs to take the time to process, allow and seek help in the grieving (and healing) process. Lovingly and gently allow yourself the time you need; there is no need to rush.


At the time of death, the humans left behind begin to continue the Earth journey, holding a double-edged sword. On one side, they are at peace and have found relief now that their loved one has crossed over, and on the other side, they often feel guilty they feel such joy in this soul’s transition. Their journey of living grief has ended, yet they continue to grieve in a whole new way. Sure, they have accepted the death and feel okay with the loved one now being in Spirit, but they still have a ways to go in processing their grief.


With death, grief doesn’t end. With death, grief transforms, penetrates and transcends all of our experiences moving forward. Thankfully, we begin to find ways to move from our darkness and back into the light of the living with each day. It is important to know that it is okay to feel our pain and still find ways to be happy once again. After all, promises made to our loved ones lead us to get out of bed and to move on as souls having a human experience.


Your heavenly loved ones don’t want you to give up on life when there are many possibilities yet to unfold. They want you to keep making the promise to yourself to be happy and live life to the fullest. You deserve to do so, and they want to walk alongside you as you learn to live again after you felt death stole life from you.


Rest assured, everything is unfolding exactly as it is meant to, even though you may not fully understand or appreciate this truth (at this time). Heaven says, one day, you will understand it all. You will have a complete appreciation for the whole process of living and dying, just like they now do.

In the meantime, take the time to appreciate your daily gifts; this includes the time when life was so dark you didn’t know if you can go on. Know there is life and light at the end of the tunnel, and keep walking ahead with heaven by your side. Soon, you too will know life does continue in heaven, as it does on Earth. You will near the end of the tunnel and begin to see the light once again. First, as the light on the Earth; Second, when your time to cross over beckons you to come home to the light of Spirit.


Until then, relax and take a breath. Give yourself a break; living grief is hell. Let yourself process and give yourself the time to heal. Grief is the cost of loving another. It isn't fun but it is part of your loving relationships in the world. Don’t judge your journey with grief with another. Everyone experiences it differently, and uniquely. Each person, has their own personal experience with life, and death.


Reach out as you need to for the support along the way. You don’t need to do this alone, ever. After all, you were born on a planet with many souls to support you. It would help if you let them be there for you. Let today be the day you open the door and let them in. You may find a little peace along the way. Besides, everyone will one day experience their version of living grief. Remember, when you let others be there for you, you are also in service for them during their darkest hours.


One day, you too, will breathe a sigh of relief when you take your final exhale and release your soul from the physical body. The same is true for your loved ones when they leave the earth plane and free of the restrictions of the physical world. As your loved ones gasp for air with their final breath, they will find themselves in a pool of infinite possibilities filled with love.


Make it your mission to explore the endless possibilities to be happy and enjoy your life once more. Heaven wants this for you, as does your soul. Now it is time for you to choose it for yourself.


Live your life without further regrets; besides, haven’t you had enough of those in your life. Your loved ones want you to move forward without any more heaviness from past choices. Go ahead and give your 100% to all you do, so when you are asked, “Did you give it your best shot and effort?” You can then say, “Yes, I did,” with your heart happily singing.


You need not feel alone, ever. Heaven is always holding your hand, whispering encouraging words and ensure they are beside you all the days of your life. They will continue to do so even long after the physical transition has taken place. Just because your loved one is leaving you doesn’t mean they are abandoning you. The love and life shared remain forever in your heart and memory, and their soul by your side. This is one of the many gifts Spirit leaves behind for you when one crosses over.

Life is eternal, and so is the soul. The journey is far from over just because your loved ones have left the physical world. In many ways, as you transition from living grief to living with grief after death, your loved ones are also awakening and rising to the challenge of life after death.


In an upcoming post, we will look at the process of dying and life after death for the soul. Stay tuned, and get ready to heal the fear of the unknown! Let me know if you are all in by clicking the heart button at the bottom of this post.


From my heart to yours, I love and appreciate you. Blessings, Brian D. Calhoun PS: If you enjoyed this posting and want more, follow and comment on my Social Media posts and don't forget to click the heart button below.

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